Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

It’s time to HIT THE MOUNTAINS! I have longed for my favorite outdoor pastime to return and for a chance to sing, “The hills are aliiiiiive, with the sound of muuuusic. Ahahahaha.” Those extra vowels are for the effect and exactly how I can hear Maria singing them from the wonderful movie “The Sound of Music”. It’s my all-time favorite movie. If you haven’t seen this classic production, I can’t say enough about this story. Find out for yourself! I remember when my mom took my sisters and me to see it in the movie theater (probably in the 1970’s) and how we couldn’t stop singing the songs on the way home. We even stopped to get the 8-track tape soundtrack!

Summer hiking in Phoenix is like sunbathing in the wintertime in Alaska; you just don’t do it. First, it is miserable to hike in 110 degrees scorching heat with dehydration becoming deadly. Second, the little slithery snakes come out to enjoy the mountain, and I prefer to not run into them. It becomes their territory, basically. I don’t want to bother them, so I keep to the mountain when it’s my turn, and they stick to their turn. I am relieved to say that the snakes and I don’t typically cross paths.

As the month of May came around this year, I began to feel melancholy knowing my hiking season was coming to a close. With the stay at home orders and “masking up” ordinances in the spring, I couldn’t help but feel sad that my outdoor activities on the mountain would soon be put on the usual summer-to-fall pause. With the stressful times facing our country and my unpredictable job as a teacher, being on the mountain was therapeutic.

However, the fact remained; when the heat wave started, there was no more hiking. This reminded me of the quote, “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. Separation can be very healthy. I surely embrace the mountain when I have been away from it for several months.

Separation helps people appreciate one another when they aren’t together as much, also. I see this with my children. Since they don’t all live together at home anymore, they are nonstop chatting about movies, podcasts, video games, and laughing about personal jokes when they visit at home. Conversations grew to deeper topics besides their faith, which included politics, causes, and people’s hurts and needs. I don’t usually get much say in the conversation; but you know what, that is okay with me. I can see how happy they are together.

That healthy separation thing works for me as a parent, too. I get so excited when I see my children altogether, including my lovely daughter-in-law. I want to be in on their conversations, too. Sometimes, I feel a little sad and left out when they are having their “young adult bonding”.

I’m working on changing my attitude, because I don’t want them to feel bad if they see me feeling sad or lonely. It actually sounds a little ridiculous to feel lonely in a room full of people. I bet you can relate, though. I think this happens when we dwell on our own feelings. Taking our eyes off of ourselves helps to give new perspective.

Another favorite movie I have is “Christmas Story”. Must see this one! When the dad receives a “major award”, the infamous leg lamp, he is so proud and happy. That’s how I feel seeing my kiddos together! I grin ear to ear watching them laugh, talk, play basketball or whiffle ball, and eat brownies made by Maggie and Alex. How can I feel anything less than gratitude?

I don’t want to get uptight and annoyed when they are talking non-stop or just hanging out in the backyard while I am working in the kitchen feeling cooped up. Yes, I want them to still help clean up the kitchen after I cook, but mostly, I want them to have “their” time together. Remembering this helps me to bounce away the negative emotions that try to steal my joy. Go away bad feelings! I am making room for the healthier ones!

Siblings are such a treasure. My sisters and brother are very important to me. I cherish our times together, growing up and as adults. This is how I know “distance makes the heart grow fonder”, because when Tammy and I had our visits after being apart for a year, we were just like my children are now. Talking about life and doing fun things together. I am so grateful to have had some special visiting time with my sister Tracey recently and also my brother Jody. We had some great laughs and created wonderful memories.    

My heart is so happy when I hear Kurt on the phone with his sisters and brother laughing hysterically or collaborating to solve the nation’s problems. Vote for the Kenzler Siblings for Presidential Team!  They pick up conversations easily and intentionally when time has passed between phone visits.

Whatever you begin to miss, whether it’s the mountains, a sibling, a child, a special aunt or uncle, or a friend, treasure the moments when you reunite. Look at time away from them like walking up a bridge to the Grand Canyon. As soon as you come to the top of the bridge and look out at the awesome sight from God’s creation, it’s more than worth the climb up. Anticipating and making plans for the next time we get together is always worth the wait. Don’t you think so, too?