Influences From Our Past

Black lives matter. Racism. Prejudice. White supremacy. Equal Rights. First Amendment freedoms. Second Amendment right to bear arms. Constitution of the United States of America. Stronger Together. You likely recognize these words and phrases people hold dear or turn a cheek on. I am writing this post to share my own personal experiences with Black Americans, People of Color that shaped my early views and attitudes.

This is a different type of writing for me, and thank you for reading it and allowing some grace if I say anything that offends anyone. Perhaps, my purpose in this post is simply to share my own experiences, and in turn, you may reflect on yours. I often think about how can I be more open minded and allow my heart to expand and have more empathy, understanding, and a voice for those who hurt. There are many people who suffer in this world, and my hope is that we will hear them, pray for them, and love on them.

It’s pretty simple, really, if someone has been hurt for any reason by other people, it just ain’t right. We are not perfect people. We are different from one another. We will hurt people – those in our own family, co-workers, our friends. When love, forgiveness, compassion and effort are used as “daily supplements” in our routines and in the interactions with others, what a world of HOPE we can build.

          To begin, allow me to share that I am ignorant of any pain that was poured upon our Black sisters and brothers from the decades upon decades in this country and beyond our borders. I have known pain and tragedy; yours is unique to you and your people, something I would never claim to understand. Keep sharing your stories, because it helps me and so many others know that this is a battle that is not over.

          Can I become more educated and empathetic? You bet. I think right now we are all learning on a new level how to increase in our knowledge and care for people who have been discriminated against for the color of their skin. My first encounters with Black people were quite positive despite what my family beliefs may have been.

          Growing up in Indiana, in an area of largely racist population, I was among white people for my whole childhood. All I knew about People of Color was from history books and Gary, Indiana. Michael Jackson is from Gary, and there are other famous people and athletes from that community just like other small towns. Gary is a city that was once known for being the murder capital of the country, ranking #1 in murders. It was a city primarily of Black people. Based on hearsay, murmuring and deductive reasoning, one grew up believing Gary was a bad and dangerous place, because of the Black people. This was my perspective based on what others told me, my lens as a child. It’s all I knew.

          Now, being the responsible teenager I was, I did have a few times I rebelled.  Some friends and I decided to drive the “strip” in Gary, despite it being a big no-no from our parents. The strip is a stretch of the main street where cars are bumper to bumper  driving to see everyone. I’m sure there were some illegal things going on, but I remember it just being a big party. I can picture the streets filled with people and jam boxes playing music. People were hanging out; it didn’t seem so scary after all. I would never have known any different than what I was taught from the adults in my life.

          Another early memory of meeting a Black person was in junior high school. Tammy, my sister, was in college, and I was lucky to get to visit her and stay in her dorm room. I loved experiencing the adult college life. Tammy was so fun and friendly and made so many new friends; everyone loved her. One time I was staying with Tammy for a weekend, and we went out to get some ice cream with her friends, several girls and one guy. Her guy friend was Black. Back then, I may have been curious about it, but I kept an open mind. At age 13, I had no personal reason to judge or discriminate or even feel uncomfortable around someone different than me. Slowly, the beliefs from those adults in my life would begin to fade, allowing room for my own opinions and thoughts.

          My experience with this friend of Tammy’s was something I still see in my mind. It was pretty special and memorable. He was a big man who couldn’t say a serious or harsh word if he tried. Tammy’s friend was so funny and kind to me. As I retell this story, I am feeling the joy and happiness inside knowing my sister had made some fantastic friends who really cared about her. I’m sure glad I didn’t pre-judge this friend because of his skin color. I would never know about Lotus Elevators and how fun an elevator trip can be without meeting someone different than me. I’m thankful my heart and mind allowed space for Tammy’s friend.

          In my high school, it was all white people until one black family enrolled. I remember them so well, because one of the boys had a locker near mine. He was friendly and kind. Once again, this is just one of my earliest encounters with a Person of Color. Honestly, I don’t remember looking at him differently and thinking less of him. I just thought it was cool to have someone new on campus. Their lives at an all-white school were not off to a good start; however, as their home was being built, someone burned it down. It was a horrible thing to do; how sad for our new classmates to deal with this dangerous and horrible type of racism.

          Although I never met their father, I admire him back then and still today. You see, he decided that was where he wanted to raise his family, moving from a nearby town. He rebuilt the home. I recall people going over and helping the family. Within one year, those kids were of the most well-liked and popular people on our school campus. People got to know them and love them for who they were as individuals, not because of their skin color.

          I can reflect and reminisce on the memories I have just shared, but I never knew any of the real struggles they or their ancestors faced because of skin color. I could never know or claim to understand what People of Color still encounter today, the mean and nasty racist comments and downright horrible acts.

          What I owe my friends who are Black is a heart of kindness, care, and empathy. Even in the violence recently, we are seeing hope with all the Black people of America sharing their stories and standing united in their march for justice and acceptance. It’s time for us to be their first mate, their crew member. We owe it to our Black neighbors, friends and coworkers to hear their stories, give them a hug, and stand with them in this war against racism. Enough is enough. WE need to get into their boat with them.

          I have a dear friend who has grown into a dynamic leader in this call for honoring Black Americans. Dom is helping me and countless others to become more aware of our Black sisters and brothers’ struggles, both from the past and present. She and so many others are educating the world on what can be done to stop the discrimination.

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          Ah, how true that knowledge is power. Knowledge of their scars and wounds and current battles only helps us to fight along with them, to see a society that embraces Black people for WHO they are inside.

          Admittedly, those of us who are white may not know what to say or do to help Black people. That’s why we have to do a little homework. This fight isn’t over. Find someone to follow on Instagram or Facebook to train you on how to be a better friend to Black people.  Better yet, sit with someone different than you and listen.  Look into their eyes with an open mind and heart; hear their story of struggle and hope. Pray for them to find the healing and hope that God promises to those who seek Him.

          I encourage you to watch the movies listed below and ask around for more ideas on important movies and books to help you better understand just the surface of what our Black fellow Americans faced long ago and still do today.

• Just Mercy
• Harriet
• The Help
• 13th